2017 Diary – New Ideas.

This time last year I was doing the “2016 Diary” and I was posting every day, talking about anything and everything that occurred in my day… it stopped after a while and became a weekly thing where I summed up my week in one blog, and then I just started posting once or twice every month. I hated that I had cut down on posting my blogs so much because it is something that I love to do! I enjoy blabbing about anything, whether it a serious topic, something that I’ve experienced… anything really.

For a little while now I have been building up some ideas for my blog so that I can really get back into blogging regularly. Balancing home life, work life and having time to go out and do photo shoots and write up some blog posts… has been a bit challenging with starting my new job as I really would like to keep on top of my game so I really do work my butt off, which is great! But as soon as I get home I just pass out in bed and then when I wake up again it’s time for work.

So, my new idea is to create a list of topics that I will express through photos every week and get to write about. I was also thinking that any of you could join in..? If you ever thought of a great photo idea, or a topic you would like me to write about.. I would add your ideas to my list too!

Keep an eye out for my next blog to see the first topic that I have chosen!

Be Back Soon,

L x

2017 Diary – Mum.

Happy birthday and Happy Mothers day to the most amazing and strongest woman in my life.

Even though we do have our disagreements… I wouldn’t change you for anything. I am SO grateful to have a mum like you! You support me through the thick and thin, listen to me and hold my hand through whatever comes my way.

I would say that the past two”ish” years have been quite a challenge for us both, but we are getting through it and WILL get through it. No matter how hard things get, family is family and we will all be here to support you all the way ❀

Your my best friend, my mum and someone who I truly look up too. You have done so god damn well for yourself, and I couldn’t be more proud when I see you conquer the challenges you face.

There are so many amazing things coming up this year and I can’t wait to create the memories with you being apart of them.

Thank you for being you.

Lots of love, L x

2017 Diary – Kitchen banta is back!

Having a job that you enjoy is defiantly something that everyone should have! If you don’t enjoy it you won’t have the motivation to go in and give it your best shot…

I’ve had a job where I found myself becoming bored way too often. I would offer help and near enough beg for something to do because the days felt like weeks as I was never really managed. With that job I had 3 months of a “traineeship” sort of thing before I was then either accepted or rejected into the actual job role. 3 months passed and I got called upstairs to discuss the next step… But as honesty is best policy, I told them how I had been feeling and that I wasn’t enjoying the job so far and it didn’t really phase them nor did they try and persuade me to stay on :/ So that was my last week working there… a few weeks have passed and I HAVE A NEW JOB! Hopefully a solid one too.

If you have read my blogs since the beginning then you’ll know that my first ever job was working in a kitchen, but only as a helper. I really enjoyed my first job and I never had a bad word to say about it, I just wanted a bigger role but as I was in education at the time I couldn’t really be more than a helper since I didn’t work full time.

As I am now able to work in a full time job, I thought why not look for an opportunity back in the kitchen..?! I was soon offered a job as a baker, there was no second thinking or worry about this so I took the job! I have now been working there for nearly 3 weeks and I absolutely love it πŸ˜€ I am gaining so many skills and feel like I really fit in.

I have missed so much about working in a kitchen… the amount of success in production every day, the skill and the banta! Yes there is a LOT to complete and get out to service on time, but there is also a LOT of fun πŸ™‚ And that’s what makes me love this job!

You spend most of your day working, so make sure that you enter and leave work with a positive attitude.

Be Back Soon,

L x

 

 

2017 Diary – A year later…

This time last year I was a bit of… what you could call a mess. I have never spoken about what happened last February, because Β it’s something I’ve never really sat down and properly spoke about. It’s not the easiest topic to bring up in conversation..

This blog post is not going to be about what happened, but about how “things” have changed and how I have changed.

I have learn’t from what happened to me and I would say that I am a lot more aware of what is going on around me, who I’m talking to, what actions I and others make… and I admit that I won’t ever truly “get over” what happened because it is apart of my life, it’s just another chapter that has been written but now the page has turned a new one has begun.

Trust me I would never wish what happened to me on my worst enemy, but god damn it took so much away from me, but nothing that I can’t get back. I would definitely say that a year later I’m a much stronger person! I’m not all about the cliche things in life but the quote “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is now something I live by.

Be Back Soon,

L x

 

2017 Diary – I don’t usually talk about this topic in my blogz…

Relationships. Something I don’t really talk about in my blogz because any that I have been in, have never felt 100% right… but this one is different. It’s something special.

I’ve never really had any luck with relationships as something really “crappy” happened to me a year ago so whenever I’ve gone to try with a relationship my past either gets in the way (no matter if I try and block it out), or my trust issues and relationship anxiety can ruin most situations…

Around June/JulyΒ 2016 I opened up to a boy about what happened to me early that year and it was so easy to talk to him, which was really strange as I find it so difficult to talk about that side of my life. At that point in my life I wasn’t really ready for a relationship because my mind was a complete mess and I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. Anyway so we stayed friends, and have been friends ever since… We supported each other through other relationships and personal issues as we understood each other so well and had trust in one another, and trust is something I find to hard to have in anyone so this must mean something special, right?

A few weeks ago we both decided to hang out and something happened with us both, something special, something that sort of kicked me in the butt and was like “why have you never felt like this before..?”He’s is just SO different to everyone else! Let’s call him ‘K’.

Whenever I’m with K everything just feels right, everything’s simple and seems held together in my life because I have this constant smile on my face, and if it ever disappears he’s there straight away turning that frown upside down. We always make each other laugh and life just seems so positive with him.

With me and relationships family is a huge thing and I’ve always wanted to get along with the other half’s family and be able to hang out with them and feels accepted and comfortable. When K’s family I feel exactly like that, his mum is so lovely and the other night she told me that she feels like I’ve been there forever! This made me feel so happy and accepted, it was so lovely πŸ™‚

Feeling comfortable, accepted, respected, cared for, trusted, special… are the main things that I look for and I’ve never been able to feel like someone ticks all the “boxes”, but K DOES! I can look at any of the different sides to a relationship and know that me and K can do that, feel comfortable to say how we feel, know whats right and when things are right… It’s and all round positive with him in my life and right now I honestly couldn’t be happier.

I don’t usually talk about this topic in my blogz but I just felt like “why not”… It’s something I’m actually happy about in life, so why not share it with you guys?! πŸ™‚

Be Back Soon,

L x

2017 Diary – This is becoming an addiction…

I like my job, but by working there I’m slowly getting an addiction…

Lately my main job has been focusing on studio and Photoshop work (which I’m so happy about because that is the job that I love most, its also giving e something to do) and admin of course as that is my main job. The only bad thing about this job is that whilst going through all of the used cameras and lenses that the shop will be selling I just grow some sort of crave for any old film camera and I just insist on purchasing it. This is becoming an addiction…

I love that I’m able to test out different film cameras, rolls of film and the opportunity to develop and print the photos that I take πŸ™‚ I’ve been on a few adventures with my film cameras and I have so many photos, but here are some of my favourites. The photos below were taken with my Olympus OM2.

On my first couple shoots I actually insisted on using just black and white film.. This was before I got the Olympus OM2, I used my Trip which I loved as its not battery operated, its polarised. But the results that I got had a blue hint to them. This didn’t bother me too much, I still really liked the photos!

trip-film

After noticing the blue tinge, I still wanted to try black and white film but with a different camera. So after getting my Olympus OM2 for Christmas I went straight out with my last black and white roll of film and gave it another go…

abbey park.jpg

I was so happy with the second results, the contrast was so strong and the detail was so shocking compared to was I expected… I kind of underestimated the results if I’m honest.But I’m very happy now with my photos πŸ™‚

I’m so addicted to film! Look out for more photos to come!

Be Back Soon,

L x

2017 DIARY… WHATTTT…

Goodbye 2016 diary… HELLO 2017 DIARY!

This year has gone so quick, I feel like I’ve been everywhere. I’ve definitely had a lot of challenges that have given me a ton of experiences, that may not be the best experiences (that’s a bit of an understatement) But everything that has come in my path way has ended up giving me strength and proven me that even when things do get low, you just need to keep holding on and realising that there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel and there is no point in giving up.

If I sum up 2016 I have been to two different colleges and have left two amazing jobs but ended up in a camera shop, and have great family and friends who truly support me all the way and have my back through thick and thin.

I mean, I’m not someone to usually sticks to ‘New Years resolutions’ but you know what, this year is seriously going to be different… Something that I learn’t in 2016 that really stood out to me was that if you want something in life, you’ve just got to go and get it! Otherwise you will be sat in the same seat a year later questioning the same things… Honestly, I’m not happy with my body, I want to accept myself and just throw clothes on and feel absolutely fine about it, I feel like I have to somewhat cover my face whenever I go out, I feel pressured with always pleasing everyone… But it’s time to learn and make a few changes and teach myself that I DON’T need to wear make up I should just feel confident in my own skin, if I want to loose weight then I need to just go out and get myself feeling fit and healthy, and I mainly need to learn that I don’t need to please everyone, I am who I am and there is nothing you can really do accept excepting yourself and being who you are, no facades, no hiding, no low self-esteem… get out there and BE YOU!

It’s time to make a difference and stand out.

Let start 2017 on a positive note and keep that flowing!

Be Back Soon,

L x